Sons of the Shepherd

  Right There Waiting For You       Grief likes to ambush you.  What does that phrase 'grief ambush' mean?  It means that you can be doing something in the normal routine of life, something so predictable and mundane, and then out of the blue grief just tackles you or attacks you like a mugger on the street.  Grief ambushes leave you feeling vulnerable, unsure, and fearful.  Grief ambushes can be ugly, but they can also be beautiful because they remind you of something beautiful, something you probably haven't thought of in quite some time. I had a grief ambush yesterday.  I was sitting in a doctor’s waiting room yesterday just watching Facebook reels.  There was a sweet black man sitting across from me singing hymns.  He had a Jesus loves me hat on.   And then a song came on.   “Right Here Waiting For You.”   It hit me before I even had time to prepare for it.       Now, much to the su...

I’ll Go Where You Want Me to Go     Two years ago today, Tiff shared a Facebook update after chemo treatment number seven.  Tiff and I regularly shared updates about her cancer journey.  We agreed that we didn't want to waste the hurt and pain that we were suffering through.  Together we asked God to prepare our hearts to use this horrible situation for His good and glory.  We understood what the future probably held.  100% of the people that had the type of cancer Tiff had passed away.  That didn't stop us from praying for the "Noah" sized miracle, but we also knew in the depths of our hearts, that barring the miracle, Tiff would go home to be with the Lord.  We were living in a very strange tension at the moment.  We were walking through each day balancing good news, bad news, and no news.  Our hope became deeper because suddenly it had been mixed with heartbreak.  Our gratitude was now mixed with disappointment.   ...

  Sometimes God Answers No       There are a lot of things that I miss about Tiffanie, things that I'm pretty confident that will never be satisified on this side of heaven the way that they were on earth, things that only heaven can fulfill.  Things that are distinct, memories forever etched in my mind that will make me smile and laugh.  One of them was Tiff's love of childrens music. Children's ministry ran through Tiff's veins.  She was created by God to reach children with the Gospel, and one of those ways was song.  She would lead chapels and teach the children songs like 'Salvation', "Inch by Inch", 'God's Power', etc.  I can still picture her singing Jesus love is sweet and wonderful and leading the hand motions, or Baa Baa He's the Good Shepherd.  But the song that comes to mind the most is a song about prayer.  It goes like this, 'Sometimes God answers yes when I pray, sometimes God answers wait when I pray, sometimes God a...

Hanging Our Harps on the Willows “ Upon the willows in the midst of it, we hung our harps.” —Psalm 137:2       Life experience sometimes brings life to areas of the Scripture that were otherwise lifeless.  What I mean is that there are certain passages that simply don't speak to our life situation until we actually need them, then that Holy Spirit drives those truths into the depths of our needy soul.  I'm sure that we have all had times when we were reading the Word of God and a text just seemed to jump off the page.  It might have been an area in our Bible that we've read countless times before, but in that moment, in that circumstance the Spirit of God brought the passage to us.  This has never been more true then the time of Tiffanie's cancer journey and my own journey into becoming a widower.  It's odd that my time as a widower has now surpassed the time that she suffered with cancer.  Through thhis now nearly two year journey I have...

Eleven Pipers Piping When Worship Carries You       My youngest son just finished his Christmas concert.  I love elementary Christmas concerts.  There is something magical about seeing the little ones dressed in their reds and greens and singing songs about Christ's birth.  Some of us have some very fond memories of Christmas concerts as children.  Not all of them good memories.  One more negative memory is when the music teacher handed out recorders.....I hated that instrument almost as much as my parents did.  I would have rather rang instead of played the recorder.  That makes me think about the eleventh day of Christmas, pipers.  Pipers don’t speak.   They don’t explain.   They don’t fix anything.   They simply play.       And sometimes, in grief, words are exhausted.  I know that might sound strange coming from the lips of one of the most extroverted people you will ever meet...