Sons of the Shepherd

  Preparing Your Heart for Valentine’s Day When Your Person Is Gone Valentines Day 2020       If you were to ask the people nearest to me they would tell you that I am a hopeless romantic.  I am the guy that loves to pull off the side of the road and pick flowers, make cards, buy a favorite snack on the way home from work, and leave the cheesiest flirtatious comments.  I didn't need Valentine's Day to be romantic with my wife, I wanted her to feel like Valentine's Day was everyday.  Tiff and I typically went pretty low key.  We didn't buy many presents but we enjoyed each others company.  I vividly remember our last Valentines Day together.  She was just diagnosed with cancer and needless to say there wasn't a lot of things worth celebrating.  It was the darkest most depressing Valentine's Day, but it was also one of my favorites.  We didn't discuss the future because her diagnosis crushed our hopes for that, but instead we tal...

When Grief Has No One To Sit With: Part II       I can vividly remember during my first winter without Tiffanie, sitting on the edge of my bed, scrolling through my phone's contact list.  My contact list is quite long, well over 1000 people.  I had plenty of names.  Names of people who cared.  And yet I didn't call anyone or text anyone.  Not because I didn't need them, but because grief has a way of convincing you that your pain is something that you should carry alone.  That needing friendship is a weakness, that silence is safer.  Grief can be a great teacher, but it can also be a great liar.  Friends are needed in each season, but never more greatly than the season of grief.       Without deep friendships, grief becomes internalized, it compounds, it spreads almost as if it was out of control. Pain has nowhere to go. Questions echo unanswered. Faith can feel distant when no one helps carry it.   Solomon ...

Challenges of Being a  Young Widower       I served on the stage crew during my time in high school.  I was never one to be on stage to sing and dance.  Theater wasn't my cup of tea, but I loved being behind the scenes to watch how the play actually worked.  You had to move different scenes around, placing them exactly where they needed to be.  You only had a few moments after the curtain fell to get everything in place.  This blog post takes you behind the scenes of what a young widower endures after his wife passes away.  This is going to be raw and might make you feel a little uncomfortable.  There is a .3% chance of becoming a widower before the age of 40.  It is so rare that it rivals the odds of getting struck by lightning. Since it's rare no one prepares for it, no one talks about, and no one is prepared to address it.       There is a particular kind of disorientation that comes with becoming a widower at...

Not Meant to Be Alone       There is a particular kind of loneliness that comes with grief.  The grief of losing a spouse is considered to be the worst human experience that a person can endure.  The scale of trauma and emotional ache is considered a 100 out of 100.  It is especially difficult for a younger person.  Losing someone when you are young steals your identity.  It is the worst identity theft that can be committed against you.  It exposes parts of you, it robs you of purpose.  It steals affection and human touch.  It is almost as if someone sets fire to your dreams and you are left with nothing to do but to watch it go up in smoke.  I cannot express to you the agony that my mind, body, heart, and soul have felt.  Grief doesn't just touch one area of your life, in invades each corner, leaving no area untouched.       If I were to pick the worst part of my grief journey thus far, it would be the ind...