Sons of the Shepherd

Daring to Say “I Do” Again       In August of 2010 I stood at the front of the Open Door Church watching my first bride come down the aisle. A million emotions hit me all at once.  I was 25 and ready to start my life with a wonderful, godly woman.  We made vows to each other on that day, vows that I meant, vows that I intended to keep.   And I did.  The vows were almost identical for any marriage, f or better or worse. In sickness and in health. Till death do us part.  For most people those are just mere words of formality in order to tie the knot.  Most people say them without realizing the weight or the depth of them.  But t hose weren’t just words to me, they were a covenant. A sacred promise made not only to my spouse, but to God Himself. I didn’t say them lightly the first time. I meant them with everything I had.  I dedicated my life from that day forward as a husband to fulfill those vows.       But at the...

Returning to the Shadowlands  A St. Patrick’s Day Reflection on Grief       One of my personal favorite holidays during the year is Saint Patrick's Day.  I wear green head to toe, I eat green food, and I play Irish themed games with my kids.  Most people think that Saint Patrick's Day is set aside for dying the river in Chicago green, drinking green beer, pinching people who aren't wearing green, shamrocks (mmmm, Shamrock shakes from McDonalds), and Irish music.  But what I love about this holiday is the story behind it.  It is a celebration of the life of a great missionary named Maewyn Succat, better known today as Patrick.  I wrote a lesson for children about Patrick's life.  It includes Irish songs, snacks, games, and most of all the story of a man who was deeply burdened for the souls of others.  This celebration is a story that is deep and far more painful than most people realize.        Patrick was born i...

Moving Forward While Honoring the Past       Danger, Danger Will Robinson was the catchphrase for the 1960's sci-fi classic, Lost in Space.   The Robot B-9 used this phrase as a means of warning the young Will when trouble was around.  This particular article should start out "Danger, Danger Matt Robinson."  I'm getting ready to trek into a touchy subject, but for grieving people touchy subjects need addressed.  It's a question that most of them are thinking about, but afraid to ask.  So, what is this touchy subject?  Dating and remarriage.  For a man who has lost his wife, the question of dating again can feel incredibly complicated. Some people believe a widower should wait years before moving forward. Others pressure him to remarry quickly.  The widower will be judged for either decision that he makes. Both perspectives often miss the most important question:  What does God want for this season of your life?     ...

Men Grieve Differently Understanding the Different Language of Loss       Becoming a widow or a widower isn't something that a person signs up for.  There isn't an option given.  Grief is the price that we pay for the love that we shared for that person.  One of the most difficult parts of spousal loss is having to learn a whole new language, the language of grief.  For me personally I thought I understood that language of, but it didn't take me very long to realize that I had no idea how to grieve or how to express it.  One would assume that after pastoring nearly 20 years, conducting hundreds of funerals, sitting with multiple families as their loved one passed away would have taught me something, but it didn't.  Overnight I was thrust into a club I didn't want to belong too with no cancelation plan.  I was a widower at the age of 40.  Never in a million lifetimes did I see that coming. I was unprepared for it (but to be honest,...

Walking Through Grief Misconceptions and God’s Gentle Truth       Grief is like walking through a fog. From the outside, people see only a few steps of your path, and they assume they know the way, when they haven't actually walked an inch, let alone a mile in a grieving persons shoes. Some tell you to hurry, insisting the fog should lift by now.  I label certain people as grief meteorologists when they haven't even studied grief.  People can be arm chair grief meteorologists, forecasting how you should react and feel.  Others suggest you leave behind the branches and leaves you clutch so tightly, thinking holding onto them slows you down. Some even say faith should make the forest clear instantly.   But grief doesn’t follow maps or schedules. God doesn’t expect you to see the entire path, nor does He judge the pace at which you walk. He walks beside you, gently guiding, carrying the weight you cannot yet set down, and whispering that your journe...

  When Life Changes Without Warning A Grief Reflection for Dr. Seuss Week       It is read across America and almost every school has gravitated to Dr. Seuss.  Children at my kids school will be dressing like the Cat in the Hat, the Lorax, and some of them will even look like the Grinch that stole Christmas.  Dr. Seuss is an icon in American children's literature.  Who doesn't love his silly rhymes, strange creatures, colorful stories, and my personal favorite, who roast beast.  I still am not sure what that is but every time I read that I end up feeling hungry.  Stories like Hop on Pop, Green Eggs and Ham, and the Cat in the Hat have been enchanting children for decades.  But his stories are more then that, there is a deeper meaning below the surface.  H idden inside many of those pages are surprisingly deep truths about life.       One of the most famous lines from Dr. Seuss says,  “Don’t cry because it’s ...