Sons of the Shepherd

The Journey of Letting Go       Most people know that my family and I are in the process of moving.  Moving does not rank as one of my top ten favorite things to do....a matter of fact it doesn't rank in my top 100 things to do.  Moving requires lots of works and more patience then what I typically have in storage.  But this move is a little bit different.  This move isn't just up the road 45 minutes, this move will eventually put us in Canada, about seven hours away from everything that I've ever known.  Am I nervous?  Just a little.  Am I excited?  Overwhelmingly YES.  I am excited to bring our families together under the same roof.  Dating, being engaged, and now married while living apart has been difficult, but we can the light at the end of the tunnel.  Will I miss everyone and everything, yep (that part hasn't full sank in yet).  My kids and I have been diving through all our possessions from the last six...

Lost and Found       My kids school has a lost and found box, or for a parent it's a box of shame.  Once or twice a year I go through that box wandering how in the world my children lost certain items.  There are always some items in the lost and found box, items that make you scratch your head and ask the question "how in the world did that get there?"  I've had the same thing in camp ministry.  It's amazing how many pairs of underwear are left behind at the end of the week.  You would think, how did a kid go home with no undies today.  But the lost and found box  sat in the corner of the office, a pile of hoodies, lunchboxes (with untold treasures inside, some of them nearly science experiments), water bottles, and the occasional lonely mitten. Everything in that box had something in common: it belonged to someone… but no one was coming for it.   At least, that’s how it felt.   Some items stayed there for weeks. M...

There Is No Finish Line for Grief       I am a sucker for the Olympics.  I vividly remember my grandmother sitting in front of her tv, holding the TV guide, and cheering for every American. The Olympics are a fairly rare event.  They only come about every four years and they capture the attention of the world.  Recently I was watching the Winter Olympics, specifically the men’s downhill skiing.   The skier pushes out of the gate, tucks low, and flies down the mountain at nearly 80 miles per hour. Every turn is razor thin. One mistake and he’s out. The camera follows him all the way down, snow spraying, edges carving, muscles straining, until finally the finish line comes into view. The red banner stretches across the slope. The crowd grows louder. He leans forward, crosses the line, and collapses into relief.       It’s over.   There’s a clock.   There’s a line.   There’s a clear end.   Grie...

When the Ache Is More Than Loneliness: Understanding Widow(er)’s Fire       Warning, this blog post  will be incredibly sensitive, personal, and maybe even a little taboo. It’s got a strong PG-13 vibe to it. There are a lot of misconceptions about grief and there are a lot of things that you never think about until the nuclear bomb of loss strikes your soul. Grief is not only emotional and spiritual, it is physical.        There is a reality many widows and widowers experience but rarely talk about in church settings. The reason why is because it is a subject that’s shunned even as a good thing. What is this subject that makes most Christ followers cringe when they hear it in church? Intimacy , sex. Yes, I typed it and don’t regret it. Intimacy, when done right, is beautiful . It’s obedience to God and I honestly believe is a form of worship to Him. But what about the sudden, intense longing for intimacy after the loss of a spouse. Some call ...

Lamenting Through Lent       The Lent season is quickly approaching.  There is a lot of misconceptions about Lent.  For me personally I have never offically celebrated the Lenton season.  I always assumed it was people giving up something for forty days just for a temporary spiritual walk with God only to take the off ramp to do the same thing again.  But Lent is more then giving up something and eating fish.  Lent is often described as a season of giving something up.  For a grieving person, we have already given up a lot of things.  We have had to say goodbye to the person that we love.   But what if, instead of giving something up, we brought something out?   What if this Lent wasn’t about less coffee, less sugar, or less scrolling,  but about finally bringing our sorrow, regret, grief, disappointment, and unanswered prayers into the presence of God?       The Bible gives us a language most of u...

You Are Enough       I think it might surprise many I struggle with self worth.  I know that probably sounds like the opposite of what you know about me.  Externally I exude confidence and extroversion, but inside I'm typically fighting a daily battle.  I am constantly worrying that I'm not good enough.  The battle isn't rooted in who I am in Christ, because I know that while not worthy of His love, He still loves me.  My issue is rooted in the anxiety of am I a good enough dad, good enough of a man, a servant, etc.  I wonder if I genuinely am enough.  There are days when I look in the mirror and I don't like the person that I see.  I could have won 99 out of a 100 games, but I focus on that one loss.  I've been praying about this and diving deep.  I know that God is soverign and theologically that I am enough in the eyes of the Lord, but I need a little extra encouragement.  The other day I was praying, "Lord, remind...

  Preparing Your Heart for Valentine’s Day When Your Person Is Gone Valentines Day 2020       If you were to ask the people nearest to me they would tell you that I am a hopeless romantic.  I am the guy that loves to pull off the side of the road and pick flowers, make cards, buy a favorite snack on the way home from work, and leave the cheesiest flirtatious comments.  I didn't need Valentine's Day to be romantic with my wife, I wanted her to feel like Valentine's Day was everyday.  Tiff and I typically went pretty low key.  We didn't buy many presents but we enjoyed each others company.  I vividly remember our last Valentines Day together.  She was just diagnosed with cancer and needless to say there wasn't a lot of things worth celebrating.  It was the darkest most depressing Valentine's Day, but it was also one of my favorites.  We didn't discuss the future because her diagnosis crushed our hopes for that, but instead we tal...