Sons of the Shepherd

  Some Days Are Harder Than Others       My family and I have started the process of boxing up items to move.  We have to be out of our current home in four months and needless to say, we have quite a bit of purging to do.  I'm so proud of my kids for getting rid of things that they no longer want.  But getting rid of things can be hard for a person grieving.  Out of the blue one small forgotten item can often open the faucet of tears.  Just yesterday I was sitting in my living room with my mom and kids.  I was cleaning out the tv stand and my mom was simply watching a Tik Tok video.  The music in the background of the video was the Canon in D, which for many people doesn't mean anything, but for my grieving heart it does.  The Canon in D is the song that Tiffanie came down the aisle on our wedding day.  I automatically stopped what I was doing, swallowed hard, and fought back the tears.  I was ambushed by grief....

The One Grieving Sheep "What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it?” — Luke 15:4       How many of you have become somewhat tired of the whole 'six, seven' fad (as you read that you probably heard the way that kids say it along with the sterotypical hand motion)?  My youngest says it at the most random moments and enjoys tormenting my current work staff with the phrase.  What is the meaning behind it?  Well, nothing.  It's two common numbers placed together in a nonsensical way.         Today's devotional focuses on another number, a number with significant meaning.  The number is one.  I want to take a look at the parable of the 99 but instead of calling it the parable of the 99 I want to call it the parable of the 1.  I imagine the sheep before I imagine the shepherd in the text....

  When the Storm Changes the Plan       I'm sure that most of us have heard the old timers talk about the good old days when they had to walk twenty miles to school and back, and uphill both times.  Each of us have nostalgic memories of snow storms.  I vividly remember the blizzard of 1996 and I also remember the blizzard of 2016.  Titus was only a few days old and it was nearing Noah's birthday.  It was calling for snow but not the amount that we got. It snowed and blew.  Eventually the snow drifted over the top of our van and the stop sign at the end of our road.  Needlss to say Noah's birthday didn't go was we had planned.       Snowstorms have a way of reminding us how little control we actually have. One moment, life is moving according to schedule. The next, plans are canceled, routines disrupted, and we’re forced to slow down. While a snowstorm eventually passes, the disruptions of life don’t always follow such a cl...

  Preparing for the Storm You Can See Coming       I had never heard the phrase anticipatory  grief prior to 2024.  To be fair with you grief was a word that was rarely used in my vocabulary  and almost always used to describe someone else's circumstances, not my own.  Anticipatory grief is grief before death actually comes. It is grieving over a still living spouse, coming to a realization  that time is quickly running out.  It  is a kind of grief that begins long before the loss itself. It settles in quietly when the diagnosis is spoken, when the treatments begin, when the future you imagined starts to feel uncertain. This is anticipatory grief—and for many men, it can feel confusing, isolating, and overwhelming.  This grief is both unfair and a blessing at the same time.  It's unfair because you have to bear a heavy burden that you cannot carry on your own outside of the grace of God.  But it is also a blessing bec...

  Walking With the Grieving “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18       Three weeks ago I looked down at the scale and saw the second number had changed.  I was almost the biggest that I had ever been.  I stared at that number, not in dismay, because to be fair with you, I haven't been doing a great job of taking care of myself.  Grief messes with you in so many ways, diet being one of them.  I'm far from a junk food junky, and I don't like eating fast food, but I wasn't exercising.  I determined to go to the gym.  Since then I've been walking on the treadmill 2.5 miles a day, swimming two days a week, and lifting weights.  I have never been a body builder, but I remember how much I used to lift about seven years ago.  I thought, I can probably get close to that number.  Let's just say I'm glad that no one filmed my attempt and that my 41 year old back didn't quit...

  Son's of the Shepherd A Ministry Birthed from Pain Why This Widowers Ministry Exists       Grief.  That single word has become normal to my vernacular the past fourteen months.  Grief isn't a word that you want to become a part of your regular speech.  Grief implies loss, sorrow, mourning, death, and the ultimate price that is paid for loving someone so much.  Typically the depth of grief is equal to the depth of love that we shared for that person.  My person was Tiffanie Robinson, my sweet brown eyed girl.  I loved Tiffanie with all my heart.  I pursued her for months until we became boyfriend and girlfriend, and then engaged, and then married.  I will never forget that she saved her first ever kiss for me!  We served the Lord together for fourteen glorious years. God blessed us with three wonderful children and a yappy, but cute little dog.  WE had a picture perfect marriage in a lot of ways.  We were unwa...

When Grief Has No One To Sit With: Part II       I can vividly remember during my first winter without Tiffanie, sitting on the edge of my bed, scrolling through my phone's contact list.  My contact list is quite long, well over 1000 people.  I had plenty of names.  Names of people who cared.  And yet I didn't call anyone or text anyone.  Not because I didn't need them, but because grief has a way of convincing you that your pain is something that you should carry alone.  That needing friendship is a weakness, that silence is safer.  Grief can be a great teacher, but it can also be a great liar.  Friends are needed in each season, but never more greatly than the season of grief.       Without deep friendships, grief becomes internalized, it compounds, it spreads almost as if it was out of control. Pain has nowhere to go. Questions echo unanswered. Faith can feel distant when no one helps carry it.   Solomon ...

When Grief Has No One to Sit With       One of my least favorite things to do in the entire world is moving.  I can't believe that in the next five months our family will be moving again.  I swore we would never have to lug any heavy furniture ever again, but alas here we are.  Moving is a task that is way too big to be done alone.  If you're interested in helping me move at the end of May let me know, just kidding, actually not kidding!  Grief likewise was never meant to be carried alone. And yet, for many widowers, loneliness is not just a side effect of loss, it becomes a second loss layered on top of the first.   When a wife dies, a man doesn’t just lose his spouse. He often loses his primary emotional confidant, his daily companion, the one person who knew the weight he carried and helped him hold it. For widowers who already lacked deep friendships, grief becomes heavier, quieter, and far more isolating.       My f...