Sons of the Shepherd

God’s Faithfulness in the Final Days “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18       There are moments in life you never forget. For me, the last days of Tif's life are etched into my soul. They were holy and heartbreaking, peaceful and painful, full of love yet lined with the reality that she was slipping from my hands and into the Father’s arms.  I am currently reliving those days as I quickly approach the one year anniversary of her homecoming.  I remember sitting in hospital rooms.  I vividly remember sounds, smells, and most of all I remember sitting with my wife as she prepared for her final lap.  I was so sad, my heart shattered as if someone had taken a hammer to it.  But my love for Tif never once diminished.  She was the bravest, most courageous woman.  She was also the most faithful.  She transitioned her battle from cancer to facing death, and together, hand in hand...

  The Kindness of Others       It's easy to focus on the many hard things that happened during Tiff's last few days on planet earth.  Today marks exactly one week prior to her homecoming, and it was a difficult day medically.  Today she was bumped up to 8 liters of oxygen and the doctors all but told her that there was no way she was ever going to head home.  We held out hope that there was a small chance that Tiff would at least be able to receive hospice care at home, but today they told us that at best she would go into a long term health facility.  There wasn't a machine that could deliever the amount of oxygen that she needed to return home.  Needless to say it was quite a discouraging day.       But God always met our discouragement with heavenly encouragement.  A few days prior I was scheduled to speak at Grace Fellowship.  This church had become quite precious to us over the course of the year.  In many w...

  He Will Hold Me Fast       My family would often travel to speak at various churches when we served as missionaries.  We loved getting into the old ministry machine (aka, our Kia Sedona minivan with nearly 300,000 miles that smelled like McDonalds french fries) and barnstorming various churches.  One sweet church was about an hour and a half drive.  The church was Cumberland Bible Church.  Our family had the joy of speaking there for over two years.  We loved the scenic drive, the kind people, and the adventure.  I would often speak in the morning and the evening service.  The church would let us stay at their parsonage between services.  They provided us with yummy snacks, Tif was able to nap, I was able to study, and the kids would do homework or play boardgames.  We would stop at a McDonalds in a gas station on our way home.  Our kids would typically fall asleep on the ride.  We pulled into the driveway afte...

  One Year Ago Today       It's been nearly one year since my beloved wife met my beloved Savior.  The month of the November has been an unbearable storm at times.  I have carried a smile and laughed, but sometimes those are fake.  The past sixteen days have been nothing short of a roller coaster, and if you know me, you know that I am not very fond of roller coasters.  I can vividly remember details of the last weeks of Tif's life.  I can remember the color of the floor tiles, what we ate each day, the color gown that she wore, her schedule of meds, the names of our nurses, and I used to remember the exact number of steps that it took to walk her floor.  Those memories are burned into my mind.  I treasured those last moments with Tiffanie.  We knew that time was fleeting and we made the absolute best that we could.  We continued to glorify the Lord and point others to Jesus.  She continued to fight the cancer despite...

When the Drive Fades:  Finding Focus After Loss       When Tiff passed away I didn't just lose a spouse, I lost my best friend, a part of my identity, a part of what made me special and unique.   It’s not just your heart that feels broken—it’s your sense of direction. The rhythm of life that once came so naturally suddenly feels foreign. Even small tasks can feel monumental.  It feels a lot like learning how to walk and talk again.   For widowers, this loss isn’t just emotional—it’s spiritual, mental, and practical.  It encompasses all our being, not just parts.  It's messy, unpredictable, and tiring.  I wanted to focus on a few things that changed in my life after Tiff's homecoming. 1. The Fog of Grief       After Tiff passed away, I noticed something I couldn’t explain at first: I couldn’t ffocus.  Prior to her passing I was razor sharp.  My memory was like a steal trap.  I didn't have to write n...

The Weight I Can't Carry Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never permit the righteous to be moved.”   Psalm 55:22        A few years ago Tif and I belonged to Planet Fitness.  We would walk on the tread mill for a few miles but one day she talked me into trying weight lifting.  Needless to say I'm not built like a weight lifter.  I'm slightly chunky and no one is going to confuse me for Mr. Universe.  I have embraced the dad bod.  But as I lifted a few smaller weights a guy who was obviously stacked started to lift weights.  He was lifting weights with one hand that I was lifting with both.  I was totally unable to lift that kind of weight.  That day I also retired from professional weight lifting.      That reminds me a lot of grief.  There are days when grief feels heavier than ever.  Some days it's lighter and more bearable but other days it feels like the weigh...

  The Root That Remains  “But I am like an olive tree flourishing  in the house of God;  I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever.” — Psalm 52:8       A few days ago I was leaving a voice message to Leslie about Psalm 52.  I started a tradition of reading a Psalm to her and leaving a few thoughts.  Some Psalms strike a cord, other ones feel flat.  Psalm 52 orginally felt like it was going to be a flatter devotional.  I struggled to find an application.  But the Holy Spirit grabbed ahold of me and showed some beautiful truths that I hadn't seen with any previous reading.  You need to know that I read through the Psalms twice a year.  I've done this for probably ten plus years.  That means I've read this Psalm over twenty time and I had zero notes on it.  I had never studied the passage let alone preached or taught on it.  But this Psalm drew me in.       Context is king and the co...